Christmas Rum Cake
Jill Park

1 or 2 quarts rum
1 cup butter
2 large eggs
1 cup dried fruit
baking powder
1 tsp soda
lemon juice
brown sugar

Before you start, sample the rum to check for quality. Good isn't it? Now go ahead. Select a large mixing bowl, measuring cup, etc. Check the rum again. It must be just right. To be sure the rum is of the highest quality, pour one level cup of rum into a glass and drink it as fast as you can. Repeat. With an electric mixer beat 1 cup of butter in a large fluffly bowl. Add 1 seaspoon of thugar and beat again. Meanwhile, make sure that the rum is of the finest quality. Try another cup. Open the second quart if necessary. Add 2 arge leggs. 2 cups fried druit and beat till high. If druit gets stuck in the beaters, just pry it loose with a drewscriver. Sample th erum again, checking for tonsciscticity. Next sift 3 cups of pepper or salt (it really doesn't matter). Sample the rum again. Sift 1/2 pint of lemon juice. Fold in chopped butter and strained nuts. Add 1 babblespoon of brown thugar, or whatever color you can find. Wix mel. Grease overn and turn cake pan to 350 gredees. Now pour the whole mess into the boven and ake. Check the rum again and go to bed.

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